“Sometimes I catch myself. Doing things I’m not allowed to do anymore.
You’re kind of hard to let go of.”
Inspired by certain new friends I have decided to take a trip down memory lane and explore my youthful brain and its thoughts and feelings.
I anticipated being embarrassed by my usage of short sentences and overly floral language, however, I am struck now by how beautifully articulate I had the capacity to be. Even when I had emotions surging through me that I couldn’t comprehend, I managed to capture those feelings in a blog post and feel them almost as richly now.
It’s hard to read about my struggles through theatre school. I had a lot of very high highs and deep, deep lows, but I ended up learning so much about myself and making such beautiful friendships that I wouldn’t change it for the world. The hardest part is reading about people who are no longer here. That part burns in the bottom of my stomach.
The wildest part was reading myself falling in love. This is difficult but so beautiful to rediscover.
One of my very favourite posts reads like this:
“It is spring and love is in the air.
I fall in love with a lot of people, and quite easily.
The boy with the gigantic brown eyes that I think can see inside my soul. The girl with the blue hair who calls me dear. My new friend who says I seem like a writer, which thrilled me and made me want to be one.
I fall in love a lot, but it keeps happening with the same person. And I think that’s kind of cool.”
Currently listening to music I listened to then and just about bursting with the desire to live my life the way I did. I can and I will.