I think I am chronically nostalgic. At least on rainy days. There are days when I like to sit down and read over my writings through the years and reflect on what is the same, what is different, what was the driving force for my younger self. One through line that I see in almost […]
Just wondering…
At what point did I become a secondary character in my own life? I’m reading through my old Tumblr blog and some of my old messages (if you have the stomach for it, I highly recommend), and honestly, my approach to life was so fascinating. I felt things so deeply. I truly believed that adventure […]
The Best Thing I Ever Did
Every once in a while, an event occurs that changes your life in its entirety. Sometimes you know exactly how momentous the situation is. Sometimes it sneaks up on you. In this case, it was pretty obvious how huge, titanic, even, the course of my life would be altered, but not from the beginning. I […]
Another Throwback Post
Not sure why I didn’t post this on April 14, when I wrote it. I finished it and everything? Maybe I was scared to be so raw. I don’t feel that way now. Also, reading back on this I’m so glad to have lost my job. Just feels a little bit easier to not have […]
Meditation on a really nice day in isolation
The world is starting to feel different. I think it’s probably because the season has finally turned around and it really feels like spring. I always feel my best at the turn of the season. I’ve definitely written about this before, but there is something about that feeling as things stop hinting at being new […]
Isolation Thoughts
Vulnerability isn’t my strong suit. Honesty? Yup. Oversharing? Happy to, no problem. When shit gets really scary though – when feelings get deep or when the world is in tormented chaos, I tend to show my good side. The side that I think is good. I can be maternal, friendly, cheerful. Meanwhile haunted by recycling […]
How do you know?
This is a post I wrote on November 12, 2019. I think I said too much at the time, and was afraid of sharing these thoughts. Still kind of am, but here it is! Today I woke up happy. It didn’t go away for a while. There was peace and calm in my brain for […]
My heart in drafts
I have dozens of drafts of posts that I intended to share. It’s a fascinating exercise reading through them and feeling the things I felt when I wrote them. Usually I get about a third of the way through before I start to trail off – maybe my sister came home and I wanted to […]
The morning sun
The sun is out. The world is quiet. I have my cup of coffee and emails to write. I feel like my soul is frayed. Anxieties, fears, guilt, disappointment – they’ve all been at the forefront lately, and it’s exhausting. So today, I’m leaning into the good things: the sun in my window, the coffee […]
It is Too Much
What does it mean when you’re unbelievably happy and yet entirely miserable at the same time? How is this possible? My body is giving out on me. I can’t stop getting sick. I can’t get enough sleep or make it through the day without being exhausted. My ankle hurts. Like way more than a couple […]
